Monday, December 27, 2010

These were once automobiles.

As a fat person, I really can't help but love the cold weather. After all, in the summertime, it's hot and humid enough as it is, but once you throw in the layers and layers of protective, warming blubber that coats my big mac-ridden body, it's like constantly being trapped in a sweltering flesh prison where sweat and discomfort are ones only allies.

Now, you could say "Dave, just lose weight", but at this point in time I'd much rather complain and whine about it. Anyways, I'm rambling. My point is, I love the cold weather, but I also fucking hate hate HATE the snow.

I hate anything that makes travel/driving/life in general difficult, so when I woke up this morning to THIS BULLSHIT, I was not in a pleasant mood at all. So for those of you who won't spend the majority of your day shoveling this heaven sent hassle and always pine for the romantic, happy and fun white Christmas (or, to be more accurate, white post-christmas), you can live vicariously through me, your New Jersey weather correspondent, and really see what a magical blizzard really looks like outside of the movies.

I'd go make a snow angel, but I would surely drown and die. That is all.

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