Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The art of sluttery.

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines is a video game that hit shelves in 2005.

Fallout: New Vegas came out in stores less than 1 year ago as of the time of this writing.

You know what else came out in 2005? The X-Box 360.

What's this all about, you ask? Tits. Everything is always about tits here at the Irradiation Station. The following screen shot is a picture of a "Hooker" from Fallout: New Vegas. Keep in mind that this game came out recently.

Stings, don't it? I wonder what part of this...exotic young lady the game developers thought would give all the youngsters out there all kinds of boners. Her left arm is quite simply deformed, with an elbow that appears to be filled with fluids of some sort. I guess the dropping of the bombs really screwed up the sex appeal gene in ladies.

And this is just the tip of the iceburg, mind you. You really need to see this girl actually move around to get the full extent of her grossness. See, the Hookers along the strip of New Vegas do this goofy little dance where it looks like they are standing on a wobbly platform and trying to maintain their balance in super slow motion. It's far from sexy, and frankly, is rather unacceptable in 2010 as far as computer generated poon is.

Meet Jeanette. She's a hot, jiggly-boobed piece of ass from VTM Bloodlines Malkavian loon that you meet fairly early in your adventures. Now, the graphics are obviously dated here, but there is no doubt that this young lass if far more attractive than the wretched nipple-taped disasters that New Vegas tries to sell us.

It's been 5 years since the X-Box 360 arrived on the scene, and even though Bloodlines is a PC game and never appeared on the console, I still find it enraging that a game that was released at the same time as the birth of the 360 has superior breasts in it than a recently released game, since 5 years in technology terms is the equivalent of about 350 normal years. Leaps and bounds, son. Leaps and bounds.

Honestly, I have no real reason to post this. I'm bored and New Vegas whores are a mess. Sure, Bloodlines has its graphical snafus as well, but it's about 6 years old by now. What's New Vegas' excuse? 


Adrian said...

Maybe Fallout designers had to employ woman models with deficient looks to evade discrimination charges?

Nuclear Clown said...

Adrian, my friend! Where have you been? Sorry I'm just seeing this comment now, but they always seem to sneak in the comments whan I ain't lookin'!

The Fallout gals need help. Lots and lots of help. If they needed hideous human models to insert into their game, HELLO, I'm sitting right here. I'll await their call for Fallout 4 :]