Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Night at the Museum.

The Pinball Machine Museum, of course. 

You see, I take my culture in extremely small, diluted doses, and I recently found myself at the Silver Ball Museum Arcade right here in sunny/snowy/freezing cold/unseasonably warm/downright gross New Jersey! I'll definitely be talking about this place in the next podcast, and I was blown away by the AWESOME AND RAMPANT SEXISM that was plastered all over these pinball machines (most of which were from the 60's, back when girls were girly and men had good taste.) So, I decided to take a few pictures of some of the more notable sights seen. 

"Yes, puny mortals...hump for Gorgar's infinite and sexy amusement!"

By today's standards, these two shapely young dames would undoubtedly be considered fat pigs. Needless to say, today's standards are some straight tripe. This picture looks like a SPELLFIRE card gone terribly, terribly right.

On each pinball machine in the place, there is a card with the highest scores written on them. This one here is a crappily taken picture (sorry) but you can make out that the number one score is over 4 billion points. Yes, I typed BILLION. With a "B"

This pinball machine art actually encapsulates life as far as girls are concerned. Here you have some asshole who would rather play pool than pay any mind to the absolutely criminally stacked girl standing two feet away from him. Naturally, she is ALL about being ignored and treated like total shit, while meanwhile, the nice fella #58 sitting in the background who would actually buy her a hamburger and tell her she's pretty stares longingly at her ass and will surely go home alone to angrily masturbate. #58 will later lose all his hair and become a vastly unentertaining podcaster. 

This scary gent is either going to fuck the living daylights out of this enormous-jugged lady, or kill her in some manner of surgical ritual. Perhaps both. Okay, very possibly both.

Anywho, it was a well good time, and it cost like 10 bucks for a whole hour of all-you-can play pinball machines and video games from days gone by. If you're ever in Asbury Park and want to stare at some blazingly fantastic breasts/learn yourself some pinball history, check out the Silver Ball Museum

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