Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The OFFICIAL Nuclear Clown Incorporated NBAQ

Some places have FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions), but no one cares about me or what I do, so this is more of a NBAQ (Never Before Asked Questions). I will periodically update this when I think of more questions that no one will ever ask me. Enjoy!

What the hell is your problem?
Too many to list accurately. Next question.

Where did you come up with the name Nuclear Clown?
When I was thinking up a YouTube account name, I didn’t want to do a name with numbers in it (SexyDavey9293, for instance) and wanted something that was easy to remember and also not taken. I thought that “Nuclear Clown” was nice and ridiculous, and would not be taken on Youtube. I was correct. Also, I love games like Fallout, and generally stuff that is set in post-apocalyptic type times/settings, so there’s that.

Who’s the Clown Girl?
That’s Atomic Angie. She is my mascot. You see, I am a very ugly looking man, and know that it is a herculean task to gaze upon my ugliness in Youtube videos, so I plaster pictures of a hot babe with big hoots all over my Videos to ease the pain to any viewers who stumble across my videos or website.

What’s with Atomic Angie, anyway? Sometimes she has a beauty mark, other times not.
Angie isn’t actually a Clown. Like me, she is a Mutant. Her clown-like appearance is a side effect of the radiation permeating New Jersey. Therefore, her hair is prone to change color at random, beauty marks sometimes appear/vanish/switch sides on her face, and her mouth has also been entirely known to vanish. This fun fact explains all variations of her appearance, though no form of radiation is strong enough to dilute the pure suppleness of her rack. This I can assure you with all manner of science.

Do you have Facebook?
No. Some years ago I tried Facebook for the sole purpose of creepily keeping tabs on girls I wanted to mate with in High School, but never really actively used it for much more. I do not have a Facebook account, and stick to YouTube and Twitter.

Have you ever had any formal art training?
No, I’ve never been to any manner of art school. This is why my stuff is so technically horrible. Stay in school, kids.

What equipment do you use to make the art that is plastered all over your dumb website?
Pencils and Inks I do by hand with colors done via computer. I use normal shit pencils and normal shit Pilot V-5 pens for thin lines, V-7’s for thicker lines, and normal shit Sharpie thick markers for larger areas. My inking is generally crappy, and I have been trying to find better pens. I recently tried a brush-like type pen, but I don’t like using it. All coloring is done via Photoshop 6.0 (I know, it’s ancient).

Do you do commissions? How much would something like that cost?
I am poor, so yes. As for pricing, it would depend on the complexity of what you wanted. Further inquiries about commissions should go to

Why do you film your dreadful videos in Black & White?
My complexion sucks and my face is all blotchy and pink and gross. Beyond this, I think it stands out a bit and gives my videos a sort of theme and look to them. I also like the classic type style of black and white. Also-not to be all emo and Counting Crows references aside, grey is my favorite color.

What equipment do you use to make your dumb YouTube videos and Podcasts?
My Camera is the Sony Bloggie MHS-CM5. My Microphone is the Audio-Technica 2020 USB Condenser Microphone that plugs right into my computer. For Video editing I use Sony Vegas Studio Platinum 9.0.

The audio mic on the Bloggie sucks and has a constant clicking sound, so I record the audio directly into Sony Vegas, then synch up the Audio tracks during editing. The Bloggie has no exterior mic plug in, so I need to either get a better camera that does or use this obnoxious method. Since I am poor and won’t be getting a new camera anytime soon, obnoxious method it is!

The Mic Stand I use I got at a music store for about 30 bucks. The pop filter I use I got off a music website and it was about 20. The shock mount I use for the Microphone costs about the same.

For my Podcast I record the entire thing using the free Audio program called Audacity, which I would highly recommend for all your podcasting needs.

What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

That is good! Now, do you smoke or drink or do drugs?
No, scarcely, and no. I drink on quite rare occasion, and even then, I don’t drink a lot. I refrain from these activities not for any noble philosophical virtue or reason, they just never appealed to me.  

Are you religious?
I’m not religious, nor would I consider myself an Atheist. I think the term agnostic would apply closest to me in this particular situation.

Why did you shave your head?
My hair was falling out of my head and I would rather shave it all off than cling desperately to a crumbling hairline.

When do you record your Podcast?
There is no real set schedule. I really do try to do 4 Podcasts a Month, though. Sometimes I manage to succeed at this, and other times I don't. This isn't because I'm so wildly busy or anything, it's just that I am lazy and very bad at sticking to any sort of schedule.


MeisterSpade said...

Considering you do most of your awesome artwork with normal pens and have it turn out so awesome is a wonder to me. You really are too modest, Dave. This shit looks good. REAL good.

Nuclear Clown said...

Thanks so much! My problem is that I fall into routines too easy and don't try new things. I have been using these normal pens forever, so I just stick with what I know even though I am pretty sure I would get better results and have an easier time updating my equipment.

HolidayTrees said...

Somehow I missed this Q&A. This was a fun read!

Nuclear Clown said...

Thanks! It was a fun write!